I have an itchy ring

Where goats go to escape
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EnergiseR
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Any home remedies?
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ASMO
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Rub some chilli on it, you will soon forget the itch
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EnergiseR
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I am thinking cucumber and creme freche
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Insane_Homer
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scrub with a steel wire brush
“Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.”
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Biffer
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EnergiseR wrote: ↑Thu Aug 27, 2020 5:57 pm Any home remedies?
Try washing you manky cunt
And are there two g’s in Bugger Off?
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Kawazaki
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http://notplanetrugby.com/viewtopic.php ... 284117f0a3
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EnergiseR
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Medical advice is the backbone of rugby forums
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Kawazaki
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EnergiseR wrote: ↑Thu Aug 27, 2020 7:07 pm Medical advice is the backbone of rugby forums


Arse wiping advice needed here, not medical advice.
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dkm57
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probably ingrown klingons, try veet for men, that should remove the itch problem.
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MungoMan
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EnergiseR wrote: ↑Thu Aug 27, 2020 5:57 pm Any home remedies?
1. Scratch it.

2. Anti-worm tablets.
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Niegs
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Rover knows best...

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Enzedder
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I drink and I forget things.
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ASMO
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This thread is officially exempt from rule 1
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hlvp
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Muttonbird
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MungoMan wrote: ↑Thu Aug 27, 2020 10:19 pm
EnergiseR wrote: ↑Thu Aug 27, 2020 5:57 pm Any home remedies?
1. Scratch it.

2. Anti-worm tablets.
This. You've got worms ER. Get down to the pharmacy and dose everyone in the house.
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stemoc
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no more buttsex

you are welcome.
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EnergiseR
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Worms is the front runner. I'll report back
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Gumboot
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Sounds like a job for Big Brother.
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tabascoboy
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Line6 HXFX
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I have been shitting diahorrea for nearly three weeks, my hemoroids have gone mental.
Itchy bitches.
What I do is a bit of wet toilet paper, then wrap it in a bit of dry toilet paper and just wipe the itchy away.
It works, and you don't have to pick formerly wet toilet paper out of your ass four days later...sort of.
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EnergiseR
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I wonder if you left a small wet ball of paper sort of half way in and half way out would it sort it for a period of time. You would have to get the ratio of water to paper just right so you didn't get leakage and a tell tale wet paper itchy hole spot on your suit pants. I will test it at home
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frodder
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I've had farmers for donkey's years. Going through a bad cycle atm

Hang on in there ER :thumbup:
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ASMO
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Sudocream cures everything
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Niegs
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Line6 HXFX wrote: ↑Fri Aug 28, 2020 9:31 am I have been shitting diahorrea for nearly three weeks, my hemoroids have gone mental.
Itchy bitches.
What I do is a bit of wet toilet paper, then wrap it in a bit of dry toilet paper and just wipe the itchy away.
It works, and you don't have to pick formerly wet toilet paper out of your ass four days later...sort of.
Why not just get some of those baby wipes? I've got a tub of the alcohol wipes for pandemic reasons but the material (same for the baby version) seems like it won't fall apart (reason why our council urges not to flush them).
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sorCrer
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TB63
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Get your gf to cut her fingernails/remove her charm bracelet..
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Line6 HXFX
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Niegs wrote: ↑Fri Aug 28, 2020 12:14 pm
Line6 HXFX wrote: ↑Fri Aug 28, 2020 9:31 am I have been shitting diahorrea for nearly three weeks, my hemoroids have gone mental.
Itchy bitches.
What I do is a bit of wet toilet paper, then wrap it in a bit of dry toilet paper and just wipe the itchy away.
It works, and you don't have to pick formerly wet toilet paper out of your ass four days later...sort of.
Why not just get some of those baby wipes? I've got a tub of the alcohol wipes for pandemic reasons but the material (same for the baby version) seems like it won't fall apart (reason why our council urges not to flush them).
I actually have wet wipes, Andrex Washlets ("gentle clean") but they are tiny insubstantial sheets, and with itchy ring you really need something more substantial, so with a bunch of wet toilet paper put in a couple of sheets of dry, you get the cooling sensation of that wetness, plus the abrasivness you need to get right at the itch.

I am currently on antibiotics and I have a terrible case of Campylabactor. Ate something undercooked about three and a half weeks ago and it is still trying to kill me.

The worst thing is I really cannot trust in my farts anymore.
I used to enjoy a good fart.
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Akkerman
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wtf did i just read
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Niegs
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Totally sympathetic with the risk of a fart being a wet 'shart' though! We've all been there at one time or another, surely?
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C69
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Pmsl ffs refry
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Sandstorm
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C69 wrote: ↑Fri Aug 28, 2020 8:18 pmPmsl ffs refry
+1 :lol:
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Uncle fester
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Good vindaloo will clear that up for you.
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Fangle
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Sounds like the dreaded ringworm.
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CrazyIslander
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stemoc wrote: ↑Fri Aug 28, 2020 7:00 am no more buttsex

you are welcome.
Doesn't make sense. He should increase his anal sex activity immediately. It's the only way.
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Masterji
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I don't know if it's similar but I had itchy bollocks last year in the hot weather in Saudi. I was advised to put tooth paste on it, and Amazingly it worked. It's worth a try
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stemoc
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Masterji wrote: ↑Sat Aug 29, 2020 10:44 pm I don't know if it's similar but I had itchy bollocks last year in the hot weather in Saudi. I was advised to put tooth paste on it, and Amazingly it worked. It's worth a try
no idiot, you were supposed to rub your balls with the tooth brush, not the paste... same for an itchy arsehole.
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Masterji
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stemoc wrote: ↑Sat Aug 29, 2020 11:54 pm
Masterji wrote: ↑Sat Aug 29, 2020 10:44 pm I don't know if it's similar but I had itchy bollocks last year in the hot weather in Saudi. I was advised to put tooth paste on it, and Amazingly it worked. It's worth a try
no idiot, you were supposed to rub your balls with the tooth brush, not the paste... same for an itchy arsehole.
Whatever floats your boat.
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Glaston
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The Gerbil needs a visit to a Chiropodist.
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