NPR

Heard today in the market.. "He's like two ha'peth of God help me"..

Not heard that one in donkeys...

Apparently the phrases I use are no longer acceptable.

My daughter is fond of saying "Oh, my days!" to express amazement or shock for some reason, she sounds like the maid who's just discovered the body in a Golden Age detective novel.

If he fell in a barrel of tits, he'd come out sucking his thumb..

TB63 wrote: Thu Jul 06, 2023 8:43 am If he fell in a barrel of tits, he'd come out sucking his thumb..

Shakespeare?

I remember a Billy Connolly sketch where he talked about the various way you can describe how drunk someone was.

"He was three shades of Wednesday" is my favourite

Hal Jordan wrote: Wed Jul 05, 2023 9:26 pm My daughter is fond of saying "Oh, my days!" to express amazement or shock for some reason, she sounds like the maid who's just discovered the body in a Golden Age detective novel.

I've heard this one too! "Oh, you sweet summer child" also sounds like one from a by-gone era.

TB63 wrote: Wed Jul 05, 2023 7:36 pm Heard today in the market.. "He's like two ha'peth of God help me"..

Not heard that one in donkeys...

The Lady of the House's Nan, originally from Lincolnshire, lived in Sydney since 1953.

Whenever a taxi driver tried to rip her off, she'd exclaim "I'll knock you a million!"

In Tesco yesterday and the young lad on the till asked how I was.
I said "like a dog with 2 dicks."
"Sorry what does that mean?"
"Well I have an abundance of good things going on in my life .... like a dog with 2 tails. Not sure which one to chase."
"Ah I see ..."
Me ... "or like a dog with 2 dicks not sure which one to lick."

He looked offended, confused ... lots of things but not happy. Probably got every reason to be. My wife told me to behave.