NPR

Yesterday I had the misfortune of watching London has fallen.

Absolute worst film I have ever seen, by a mile.
Seems like the (cliche ridden) script was written by someone at the Pentagon as justification for US conduct in the war on terror.

This line was positively cringeworthy:

“Assholes like you have been trying to kill us for a long time. But in a thousand years we’ll still be here.”

Bettered only by this gem:

“Why don’t you pack up your shit and head back to F***headistan?”

Generic Middle East type baddies, cheesy lines and Gerard Butler's obnoxious character, the whole thing was a total cringefest.

I had the misfortune to see Olympus Has Fallen, basically the same scenario as London Has Fallen with the same cast but set in the White House.

The most recent bad one I remember was The Da Vinci Code, I had downloaded it on Netflix to watch on the train from London to Edinburgh.

I don't think I lasted as far as Stevenage.

One of the Twilight films. We used to have movie nights at uni and alternate who got to pick, but my mate's girlfriend got hers taken away after using them to put us through 3 Twilights. Just dreadful from top to bottom.

Technically I have seen worse. When you're a horror fan you generally end up watching some utter shite in the hope that a good premise ends up being realised despite a shoestring budget. They almost don't register though because of low expectations.

Kiwias wrote: Tue Jul 18, 2023 8:50 am I had the misfortune to see Olympus Has Fallen, basically the same scenario as London Has Fallen with the same cast but set in the White House.

White House Down came out at more or less the same time with Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx. It's basically the same film, but with a completely different tone, much more fun.

Tichtheid wrote: Tue Jul 18, 2023 8:55 am The most recent bad one I remember was The Da Vinci Code, I had downloaded it on Netflix to watch on the train from London to Edinburgh.

I don't think I lasted as far as Stevenage.

Always a disappointment after the book.

About 10 years ago it was my missus' choice to pick the movie at the cinema. We were living in Bogota at the time, which has quite a large Jewish community, and some of our friends there were Jewish. So she picks some movie with a Jewish theme to it that was featured in the cinema. Didn't bother me, went into it open minded.

Ho-Lee FUCK.

The worst thing I've ever seen. Just utter misery from start to end. The main character is a Ultra Othordox Jew who's husband dies in a bomb, so his brother is then obliged to marry her under some Jewish law, and he just so happens to be in the process of moving country (which she is expected to down tools immediately and go with him), so the main woman spends 90 minutes on screen crying, wailing and generally a complete misery. Not one light hearted moment from start to end.

I've since placed a ban on all Middle Eastern based movies in our house. Too much misery. Let me know if they start bringing out light hearted stuff.

My favourite worst movie is Armaggedon. There are far worse, many I've started and never finished, but Armageddon riles me the most.

Sliding Doors up there too, never finished it & You've got Mail... Sharknado types.. and many more I wouldn't go near for love nor money (musicals) - Most, if not all, horror flicks & shit sci-fi

Moulin Rouge - I could feel my brain cells dying as the film progressed. I vowed never to watch another Baz Luhrmann film after sitting through that shit.

Worst film I can remember watching was Inside Man with Clive Owen, a heist movie with no suspense, drama or interesting characters

sturginho wrote: Tue Jul 18, 2023 10:02 am Worst film I can remember watching was Inside Man with Clive Owen, a heist movie with no suspense, drama or interesting characters

+1

Tichtheid wrote: Tue Jul 18, 2023 8:55 am The most recent bad one I remember was The Da Vinci Code, I had downloaded it on Netflix to watch on the train from London to Edinburgh.

I don't think I lasted as far as Stevenage.

20 minutes
It was utter gash!

SaintK wrote: Tue Jul 18, 2023 10:10 am

Tichtheid wrote: Tue Jul 18, 2023 8:55 am The most recent bad one I remember was The Da Vinci Code, I had downloaded it on Netflix to watch on the train from London to Edinburgh.

I don't think I lasted as far as Stevenage.

20 minutes
It was utter gash!

There are worse ways to spend 2.5 hours although most of them involve food-gone-off and an unflushable toilet...

You all know the winner (loser) here is The Irishman.

Absolute shitshow of a film that will tarnish the illustrious careers of Martin Scorsese, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Joe Pesci & Harvey Keitel forever.

My then girlfriend and I walked out of Withnail and I. It is the only film I have ever walked out of, yet many seem to like it.

6 Underground

Do you know those high-definition shorts they show on the new TVs in electronics departments? Well now imagine instead of it showing a little bit of colourful nature, or some happy couple on a boat in the Med, it showed Michael Bay action scenes one after another. That's 6 Underground. At no point does anything make any sense, it's just boom after boom with the occasional low-angle 360 sweep shots!

PornDog wrote: Tue Jul 18, 2023 10:46 am 6 Underground

Do you know those high-definition shorts they show on the new TVs in electronics departments? Well now imagine instead of it showing a little bit of colourful nature, or some happy couple on a boat in the Med, it showed Michael Bay action scenes one after another. That's 6 Underground. At no point does anything make any sense, it's just boom after boom with the occasional low-angle 360 sweep shots!

I gave up on that one after 20 minutes.

EnergiseR2 wrote: Tue Jul 18, 2023 10:32 am you are the Sly Stallone of this bored

I've been called worse. Just yesterday in fact.

Revolutionary road
Tenet
Untamed Heart
AI

The Bonfire of the Vanities

What made it so painful was the fact that I loved the book, & didn't think anyone could fuck up such an exceptional script.

Brian De Palma can just fuck right off, & then fuck off some more !!

So many 80s action, horry, titty comedies...

fishfoodie wrote: Tue Jul 18, 2023 9:00 pm The Bonfire of the Vanities

What made it so painful was the fact that I loved the book, & didn't think anyone could fuck up such an exceptional script.

Brian De Palma can just fuck right off, & then fuck off some more !!

Good call. Even the actors seemed to be taking the piss most of the time.

sturginho wrote: Tue Jul 18, 2023 10:02 am Worst film I can remember watching was Inside Man with Clive Owen, a heist movie with no suspense, drama or interesting characters

Quality movie!

EnergiseR2 wrote: Tue Jul 18, 2023 10:43 am

weegie01 wrote: Tue Jul 18, 2023 10:39 am My then girlfriend and I walked out of Withnail and I. It is the only film I have ever walked out of, yet many seem to like it.

WTAF as the young people would say. Like it!!!! It's a bona fide classic of British and world cinema. You must have been trying to get the leg over and she was sending the no leg vibe so your cock took over. There is actually no reasonable explanation for it so.we can only speculate

I'm with weegie, in the sense I also think it's overrated. Not a bad film, but nowhere near deserving of the near universal adoration it receives, imho.

EnergiseR2 wrote: Tue Jul 18, 2023 10:32 am

Sandstorm wrote: Tue Jul 18, 2023 10:15 am You all know the winner (loser) here is The Irishman.

Absolute shitshow of a film that will tarnish the illustrious careers of Martin Scorsese, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Joe Pesci & Harvey Keitel forever.

I rarely agree with you as you are the Sly Stallone of this bored but in this instance you are correct. When Robert De Niro's de aged huge face comes on screen I genuinely laughed. Completely out of proportion and big arms swinging. Absolutely hilarious stuff and it remains a mystery the fact no one stopped Scorcese, while laughing, and said 'ah Marty the absolute state of that'

Yeah, it's laughably bad. That de-aging shit backfired big time.

I usually don't dislike anything really, but lost in translation was for me, truly memorable in being terrible.
Bored rigid.

Death becomes her

Kiwias wrote: Tue Jul 18, 2023 8:50 am I had the misfortune to see Olympus Has Fallen, basically the same scenario as London Has Fallen with the same cast but set in the White House.

By the standards of London has Fallen, Olympus is a masterpiece.

Gumboot wrote: Wed Jul 19, 2023 5:52 am

EnergiseR2 wrote: Tue Jul 18, 2023 10:32 am

Sandstorm wrote: Tue Jul 18, 2023 10:15 am You all know the winner (loser) here is The Irishman.

Absolute shitshow of a film that will tarnish the illustrious careers of Martin Scorsese, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Joe Pesci & Harvey Keitel forever.

I rarely agree with you as you are the Sly Stallone of this bored but in this instance you are correct. When Robert De Niro's de aged huge face comes on screen I genuinely laughed. Completely out of proportion and big arms swinging. Absolutely hilarious stuff and it remains a mystery the fact no one stopped Scorcese, while laughing, and said 'ah Marty the absolute state of that'

Yeah, it's laughably bad. That de-aging shit backfired big time.

Brutal!

mat the expat wrote: Wed Jul 19, 2023 5:25 am

sturginho wrote: Tue Jul 18, 2023 10:02 am Worst film I can remember watching was Inside Man with Clive Owen, a heist movie with no suspense, drama or interesting characters

Quality movie!

+1

Though I agree with the OP that London has Fallen is awful.

And that's coming from someone who didn't mind Olympus has fallen - a simple action film has its place and time.
There's a big difference between simple fun and shit awful.

mat the expat wrote: Wed Jul 19, 2023 5:25 am

sturginho wrote: Tue Jul 18, 2023 10:02 am Worst film I can remember watching was Inside Man with Clive Owen, a heist movie with no suspense, drama or interesting characters

Quality movie!

I enjoyed it.

Shaolin Soccer

I don't understand how anyone could have the idea, I don't know why they'd then write it down and show it to anyone else, ever. I don't know how the script could be that bad even stemming from the profoundly misplaced idea, and I don't know why the performances could do so little to bring any sense of levity. The only actual levity is in the gratuitously bad action scenes.

Films go through so many stages of development from concept to script, to filming, to post production and distribution, and nobody thought to say this is utter crap.

There have been worse films, but Shaolin Soccer I actually sat through being on a flight somewhere or other. Doubtful anyone would watch in a cinema or at home, you need a much more captive audience

Rhubarb & Custard wrote: Wed Jul 19, 2023 8:54 am
There have been worse films, but Shaolin Soccer I actually sat through being on a flight somewhere or other. Doubtful anyone would watch in a cinema or at home, you need a much more captive audience

Risky by the airline having that on their playlist. You could have opened the door at 35k feet to escape.

The Tree of Life

Had to switch that crap off when dinosaurs appeared on the screen

boere wors wrote: Wed Jul 19, 2023 8:58 am The Tree of Life

Had to switch that crap off when dinosaurs appeared on the screen

I haven't watched a Malick film since I endured The New World. It takes a real talent to take that cast, and the story of Jamestown, and turn it into something so staggeringly boring, but Terry really rose to the occasion.

boere wors wrote: Wed Jul 19, 2023 8:58 am The Tree of Life

Had to switch that crap off when dinosaurs appeared on the screen

As a bit of a Malick fan (up to that point), I took my then girlfriend (now wife) to see that at the cinema.

She still brings it up to this day as a formative moment in our relationship. Thankfully she forgave me.

Margin__Walker wrote: Wed Jul 19, 2023 9:11 am

boere wors wrote: Wed Jul 19, 2023 8:58 am The Tree of Life

Had to switch that crap off when dinosaurs appeared on the screen

As a bit of a Malick fan (up to that point), I took my then girlfriend (now wife) to see that at the cinema.

She still brings it up to this day as a formative moment in our relationship. Thankfully she forgave me.

You two went through the deepest imaginable low right at the beginning of your relationship. Nothing will ever be able to tear you apart.

Brazil wrote: Wed Jul 19, 2023 9:08 am

boere wors wrote: Wed Jul 19, 2023 8:58 am The Tree of Life

Had to switch that crap off when dinosaurs appeared on the screen

I haven't watched a Malick film since I endured The New World. It takes a real talent to take that cast, and the story of Jamestown, and turn it into something so staggeringly boring, but Terry really rose to the occasion.

Can‘t stand his films either, except for badlands. But that was before he found his trademark style.

Sandstorm wrote: Tue Jul 18, 2023 10:15 am You all know the winner (loser) here is The Irishman.

Absolute shitshow of a film that will tarnish the illustrious careers of Martin Scorsese, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Joe Pesci & Harvey Keitel forever.

TLDNW.

boere wors wrote: Wed Jul 19, 2023 9:17 am

Margin__Walker wrote: Wed Jul 19, 2023 9:11 am

boere wors wrote: Wed Jul 19, 2023 8:58 am The Tree of Life

Had to switch that crap off when dinosaurs appeared on the screen

As a bit of a Malick fan (up to that point), I took my then girlfriend (now wife) to see that at the cinema.

She still brings it up to this day as a formative moment in our relationship. Thankfully she forgave me.

You two went through the deepest imaginable low right at the beginning of your relationship. Nothing will ever be able to tear you apart.

It was really early in the relationship. I'm paraphrasing, but I think the chat from her after was along the lines of 'what the fuck did I just watch?' and 'dinosaurs?'

We made it though

EnergiseR2 wrote: Wed Jul 19, 2023 9:22 am

Margin__Walker wrote: Wed Jul 19, 2023 9:11 am

boere wors wrote: Wed Jul 19, 2023 8:58 am The Tree of Life

Had to switch that crap off when dinosaurs appeared on the screen

As a bit of a Malick fan (up to that point), I took my then girlfriend (now wife) to see that at the cinema.

She still brings it up to this day as a formative moment in our relationship. Thankfully she forgave me.

I thought it was amazing though a bit like earlier in Milk Sean Penn was shite. I watched it again a few years ago and read a review that said something like his face was permanently confused like a child being told a joke they didn't understand.

Like I said, I'm a fan, so went in with my eyes open. I even didn't mind New World, although thought it was easily his weakest at that point. I watch them out of duty, but by god has he made some boring stuff since then. Hidden Life was watchable, but to the wonder through to song to song were a real chore