NPR

Where do you sit on the spectrum of being someone who keeps everything that falls into their possession and someone who chucks stuff away?

Would love to hear some different perspectives.

Personally I err on the side of decluttering and getting rid of crap that I feel weighs me down. My wife tends to hold onto stuff so there is a little tension there.

We both purge on a regular basis, both disliking the feeling of being buried in material goods.

Kiwias wrote: Fri Jul 21, 2023 5:53 am We both purge on a regular basis, both disliking the feeling of being buried in material goods.

Yeah, it can feel like it takes up unnecessary space in your life.

My dad was a hoarder so when he died it was heartbreaking throwing out stuff that he clearly valued. He even had a line in his Will saying "remember, not all the stuff in the loft and garage is shite".
Because of this we had a massive purge of our stuff as I didn't want to put my kids through the same thing.

I'm a purger.

Anything that no longer adds value (clutter/possessions) goes whenever I get a spare moment to go to the dump, and anything that adds strain/tension (any business dealings that involve lawyers/accountants that don't add serious value) get binned also.

I have 3 daughters aged 7 and under so my house is in a constant state of clutter and upheaval, so even more reason to be cut throat about these things

Just agreed this morning with my missus that we are going to renounce her US citizenship once she gets her UK one, as filing US taxes are an utter ballache and we have no ambitions of ever going back there to live. Also going to bin our couple of rental properties. Got into that world without any real interest and its been a shit show 4 years as a landlord. We bought cheap so confident we can make a bit of money on our principle despite the downmarket, but yeah just more hassle with the amount of admin and risk involved.

Life is short. Clutter and avoidable stress can get facked.

Hugo wrote: Fri Jul 21, 2023 6:08 am

Kiwias wrote: Fri Jul 21, 2023 5:53 am We both purge on a regular basis, both disliking the feeling of being buried in material goods.

Yeah, it can feel like it takes up unnecessary space in your life.

+1

Of course, it helps to not have many material goods in the first place.

Gumboot wrote: Fri Jul 21, 2023 6:24 am

Hugo wrote: Fri Jul 21, 2023 6:08 am

Kiwias wrote: Fri Jul 21, 2023 5:53 am We both purge on a regular basis, both disliking the feeling of being buried in material goods.

Yeah, it can feel like it takes up unnecessary space in your life.

+1

Of course, it helps to not have many material goods in the first place.

Preemptive purging, the most efficient way to ensure your house is not full of crap

I horde stuff to throw out and then take about 13 years to do it. The garage is a fucking state!

Also not having eBay or facebook markets makes it hard to sell shit.

Hugo wrote: Fri Jul 21, 2023 6:50 am

Gumboot wrote: Fri Jul 21, 2023 6:24 am

Hugo wrote: Fri Jul 21, 2023 6:08 am

Yeah, it can feel like it takes up unnecessary space in your life.

+1

Of course, it helps to not have many material goods in the first place.

Preemptive purging, the most efficient way to ensure your house is not full of crap

You are singing the song of my people

I periodically have sessions where I go;

Keep
Sell
Chuck

Chuck could be charity shop or bin.


Unfortunately I'm still not anything like as ruthless as I need to be so I'd have to describe myself as Hoarder Biased.

When I got divorced 13 years ago and moved into my own house I only brought the stuff I needed and used plus a few sentimental items. I have never missed anything nor thought 'I wish I kept that'! Everything that was worth something I took to the Charity Shops and managed to raise quite a few hundred quid for them. I continue to live by only keeping what I need and I love the space, tidiness and cleanliness of where I live.

Hugo wrote: Fri Jul 21, 2023 5:47 am Where do you sit on the spectrum of being someone who keeps everything that falls into their possession and someone who chucks stuff away?

Would love to hear some different perspectives.

Personally I err on the side of decluttering and getting rid of crap that I feel weighs me down. My wife tends to hold onto stuff so there is a little tension there.

I am strongly on the hoarder side of not chucking stuff away, however I’m even more strongly on the side of not obtaining crap you don’t need in the first place.
Sadly for my house, my wife keeps Amazon, ikea and charity shops in business almsot on her own, cannot have any space with putting a box or cushion or some shite there, then every few months has a blitz and junks it all.

For work she gets sent loads of freebies and product which doesn’t help , I have more bottles of booze than I will ever be able to drink & tickets for events that I can ever attend.

I actually don’t know why women buy so much shit in the first place :
Cushions (old one was fine, why did we need 6 itchy new ones?)
Bed linen - 1 in use, 1 in wash, 1 folded in cupboard , fine. We don’t really need 5 other sets !
Face towels - nobody uses these
Handbags - jeez don’t start me on that
Plates - we have about 6 sets, none of which stack with another set nicely on shelf or in dishwasher
All that air diffuser jostixk bullshit
Bins in every room
3 key racks..
Those inspiring quote things charities make for money

Yeeb wrote: Fri Jul 21, 2023 8:46 am I actually don’t know why women buy so much shit in the first place :

This is something I have pondered quite deeply since my missus (much like yours) loves to fritter money away on pointless tat.

I think it all boils down to conditioning. Kids are advertised to before they start school and just consider how many hours of advertising they are exposed to before they get into adulthood. By the time you actually have disposable income in your late teens and early twenties you have been thoroughly brainwashed to be a mindless consumer.

It takes a degree of discipline and self (and societal) awareness to be able to resist the urge to squander money when it is what you have been conditioned to do.

By societal awareness (I think I just made up that term) I mean being savvy enough to know how the world works.

Calculations on kids and advertising:

Lets assume that a kid is exposed to an hour of advertising a week from the age of 5-18. That's 52 hours of advertising a year for 13 years or 676 hours total. That's almost a months worth of advertising if all you did was watch adverts one after the other for 28 odd days.

The average person has no chance against that sort of powerful yet subtle and ongoing indoctrination.

Hugo wrote: Fri Jul 21, 2023 9:02 am

Yeeb wrote: Fri Jul 21, 2023 8:46 am I actually don’t know why women buy so much shit in the first place :

This is something I have pondered quite deeply since my missus (much like yours) loves to fritter money away on pointless tat.

I think it all boils down to conditioning. Kids are advertised to before they start school and just consider how many hours of advertising they are exposed to before they get into adulthood. By the time you actually have disposable income in your late teens and early twenties you have been thoroughly brainwashed to be a mindless consumer.

It takes a degree of discipline and self (and societal) awareness to be able to resist the urge to squander money when it is what you have been conditioned to do.

She will never admit any of her shit is pointless: it will
Have a use, or look nice, or smell nice , or in case of guests - But should I choose to have a small toolbox in the house or spare batteries or lightbulbs for something you might actually need in a hurry , then ‘it’s in the way’

I'm worried about my parents - they are nearly 80, and their house is chock-full of stuff. I came across a book called "Döständnig - the gentle art of Swedish death cleaning" which I think they need to read. Not sure of the best way to suggest it though!

S/Lt_Phillips wrote: Fri Jul 21, 2023 10:41 am I'm worried about my parents - they are nearly 80, and their house is chock-full of stuff. I came across a book called "Döständnig - the gentle art of Swedish death cleaning" which I think they need to read. Not sure of the best way to suggest it though!

My father-in-law hoardes. He's in his 80s now and his house looks tidy on the surface. Rooms look clear, couple of cushions out, etc. But open a cupboard, the loft or the garage? Holy shit!!
He had to have his bedroom ceiling taken down and rebuilt because it had sagged so much from stuff in the loft. He could easily have been killed by 10 cases of German Riesling in wooden boxes (stored since the 90s in an uninsulated loft, so ruined) piled up there above his bed.

Every 5 years for the last 15 the family go down for a weekend and try to thin out the clutter. It's a trial, but he's finally getting the message.

Being a rolling stone, am definitely a purger but do have some collections I won’t easily part with. (Jerseys, fav DVDs, choice books). I thought I had one more move in me, and they would have been shipped to my parents’ place for holding with a trunk of mementos I have there.

My father is currently in a tiff with his brother, indirectly, over his hoarding. He’s in poor health, no spouse or kids, fairly certain he doesn’t have a will. He’s not only got unused farm equipment and other old scrap he could get 10s of thousands for, he has a 100 acre plot he doesn’t use. Lives in squalor on another and only reluctantly accepted help to fix it up but continues to live in a shitty state. My father has given up on the “sell your shit and improve your state of living” pleas, is helping him with medical visits, but is gently trying to get him to sort the will out, stressing leave it to whomever he wants, just don’t put it off. I looked up the law for him and confirmed the three siblings would get his estate equally. I said to my dad, maybe that’ll spur his brother on as he haaaaates their younger sister (who sinisterly was counting her share in her eyes when I told my dad what happens if there’s no will ).

I remember American Pickers making a point about people like him, who aren’t necessarily hoarding garbage, just old ‘junk’ that has some value to someone… raised by Depression era people who saved everything ‘just in case’ but don’t know when to sell. They often feel things are more valuable then they are or are completely unaware of market trends to sell when hot (like his antique farm gear are sought after atm as decorations with cottagers doing the ‘rustic barn’ look). Plenty of farmers and restorers would take the unused gear and vehicles for parts. Many of these people seem to die before ever cashing in though.

Reading some comments about sending to charities… I do a Saturday shift at a Habitat for Humanity Re-Store (charity shop but mostly does furniture, housewares, garden, tools, building supplies…). The amount of crap we get which people still think is good… … the amount we take, and later throw out because the lead receiver is a bit of a hoarder himself )

Just chuck it in the bin or pay for removals / dump fee!!! I suspect they pay for the 5’ x 20’ garbage skip to be taken away each week, and some is normal store rubbish, but a lot is donations that weren’t at all good or with some flaw receivers missed. These crap donations dig into the charity’s profits, so please only offload ‘decent’ stuff (unless you know they’re an official recycler of certain items, we can at least offload electronics for free). As the manger often says when assessing quality, would you buy that for family/friend as a gift?

I'm a hoarder (spelling!) - my excuse is not having transport so dependent on getting lifts to the recycling centre for none kerbside collected things or charity shops too large/heavy to carry. Hate throwing stuff into general waste so keep way too much crap that "might come in useful one day, you never know". Charity collections from the door only seem willing to take clothes and accessories and only one or two will pick up good quality furniture or electricals that can be re-sold.

The larger things are the more motivational it is to get rid of them to free up space, it's the smaller stuff that gets put in boxes and forgotten about that's the problem.

tabascoboy wrote: Fri Jul 21, 2023 2:21 pm I'm a hoarder (spelling!) - my excuse is not having transport so dependent on getting lifts to the recycling centre for none kerbside collected things or charity shops too large/heavy to carry. Hate throwing stuff into general waste so keep way too much crap that "might come in useful one day, you never know". Charity collections from the door only seem willing to take clothes and accessories and only one or two will pick up good quality furniture or electricals that can be re-sold.

The larger things are the more motivational it is to get rid of them to free up space, it's the smaller stuff that gets put in boxes and forgotten about that's the problem.

Yard sale? There are people here who do it periodically, even regularly out of their garage. Some communities have a day where you put stuff at the curb and everyone wanders around looking for 'treasures' or they just pop a box out front at random.

Niegs wrote: Fri Jul 21, 2023 2:51 pm

tabascoboy wrote: Fri Jul 21, 2023 2:21 pm I'm a hoarder (spelling!) - my excuse is not having transport so dependent on getting lifts to the recycling centre for none kerbside collected things or charity shops too large/heavy to carry. Hate throwing stuff into general waste so keep way too much crap that "might come in useful one day, you never know". Charity collections from the door only seem willing to take clothes and accessories and only one or two will pick up good quality furniture or electricals that can be re-sold.

The larger things are the more motivational it is to get rid of them to free up space, it's the smaller stuff that gets put in boxes and forgotten about that's the problem.

Yard sale? There are people here who do it periodically, even regularly out of their garage. Some communities have a day where you put stuff at the curb and everyone wanders around looking for 'treasures' or they just pop a box out front at random.

If you had a yard sale in the UK, someone would call the cops! The thing here is car boot sales, where everyone drives to a fairground or similar and sells out the back of the car for 4 hours. Then goes home again.

No good for Hot sauce without a car.

Niegs wrote: Fri Jul 21, 2023 2:51 pm

tabascoboy wrote: Fri Jul 21, 2023 2:21 pm I'm a hoarder (spelling!) - my excuse is not having transport so dependent on getting lifts to the recycling centre for none kerbside collected things or charity shops too large/heavy to carry. Hate throwing stuff into general waste so keep way too much crap that "might come in useful one day, you never know". Charity collections from the door only seem willing to take clothes and accessories and only one or two will pick up good quality furniture or electricals that can be re-sold.

The larger things are the more motivational it is to get rid of them to free up space, it's the smaller stuff that gets put in boxes and forgotten about that's the problem.

Yard sale? There are people here who do it periodically, even regularly out of their garage. Some communities have a day where you put stuff at the curb and everyone wanders around looking for 'treasures' or they just pop a box out front at random.

Well I don't have a yard...but I often wish I had a space to put some stuff out with a sign to say "Please take if you can make use..."
Towns here don't really even have a shared open space for the neighbourhood and pavements are narrow

We knew one of my uncles was a hoarder, but not how bad until after he had died.

He was convinced much of what he had collected was valuable. Despite my sister spending months going through it, taking stuff to experts etc she eventually realised about £40k for it all.

Once the house was cleared out, we got the engineers in. Every floor and ceiling was sagging or on an angle. The repair cost was about £75k so we just sold the house as was.

I must have married Mrs Yeeb's sister as there is a near constant stream of Amazon deliveries etc to our house. Usually replacements for stuff we already have and works perfectly well. Some of it additions. As we have horses, there is a not only a constant stream of crap for the house arriving, but also crap for them / stables. Meanwhile I have had to move essential machinery outdoors under tarpaulins as there is no space to store it.

I'd be on the hoarder end of the scale (keep that recycled bolt because it might come in useful later) but every now and then, I go for a Stalinist purge to make up for it.

I'm a purger except when it comes to tools. Rather have something and not need it than need something and not have it.

I wouldn’t call myself a hoarder as I don’t buy much in the first place. I’ve a few hundred books on the shelves on the basis of when I’m too old to do the gardening etc I’ll get round to reading them again. Probably more clothes than I need but it seems wasteful to throw them out. Perhaps my 1979s leather blouson will come back into fashion.
Shed - could be better but I did get rid of the big spanner that I needed for my BSA after thirty years of “It might come in handy”.

Yeeb wrote: Fri Jul 21, 2023 8:46 am I actually don’t know why women buy so much shit in the first place :
Cushions (old one was fine, why did we need 6 itchy new ones?)
Bed linen - 1 in use, 1 in wash, 1 folded in cupboard , fine. We don’t really need 5 other sets !
Face towels - nobody uses these
Handbags - jeez don’t start me on that
Plates - we have about 6 sets, none of which stack with another set nicely on shelf or in dishwasher
All that air diffuser jostixk bullshit
Bins in every room
3 key racks..
Those inspiring quote things charities make for money

If women stopped shopping, global warming could probably be defeated......

.....only half joking here

I've moved so many times that hoarding is impossible.

BUT, I do rarely shop, so when I do, it's quality and kept forever.

Looking to move one last time (we before the final one!) and want a Mancave with all my MA gear and books I've kept over the years

mat the expat wrote: Sat Jul 29, 2023 5:01 amI've moved so many times that hoarding is impossible.

I lost count of my moves at 23.

Gumboot wrote: Sat Jul 29, 2023 5:23 am

mat the expat wrote: Sat Jul 29, 2023 5:01 amI've moved so many times that hoarding is impossible.

I lost count of my moves at 23.

I'm talking on the actual lease - up to 38 so far

mat the expat wrote: Sat Jul 29, 2023 6:20 am

Gumboot wrote: Sat Jul 29, 2023 5:23 am

mat the expat wrote: Sat Jul 29, 2023 5:01 amI've moved so many times that hoarding is impossible.

I lost count of my moves at 23.

I'm talking on the actual lease - up to 38 so far

Nomadness!

'tis more impressive as I've been here 21 years and only moved 5 times.

London was the key

More towards the purge end but more by buying very little. As for small objects on surfaces one of my cats is brilliant as he loves knocking them off so a distinct lack of them now as he might cut his paws on the remains/shards. Wife is a purger.