Recieving Therapy.
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Anybody else in receipt of Therapy?
Having it as part of PTSD treatment for the accident...(car hit me when out and about on a bike).
It's great, got my ptsd scores down a bit too.
One of the tools to deal with anxiety is try to see what makes you anxious as a story, as a whole, or a book if you like.
So instead of allowing your brain to go from anxious thought to thought (and ending up a predictable anxious mess) you recognise that these thoughts will lead you down a unhelpful road...and you can then chose whether you want to go on that road or not.
It trips you out a bit and makes your eyes go funny, when you prevent your brain going on these anxious journeys it habitually likes to take you on. Try it..it works.
Having it as part of PTSD treatment for the accident...(car hit me when out and about on a bike).
It's great, got my ptsd scores down a bit too.
One of the tools to deal with anxiety is try to see what makes you anxious as a story, as a whole, or a book if you like.
So instead of allowing your brain to go from anxious thought to thought (and ending up a predictable anxious mess) you recognise that these thoughts will lead you down a unhelpful road...and you can then chose whether you want to go on that road or not.
It trips you out a bit and makes your eyes go funny, when you prevent your brain going on these anxious journeys it habitually likes to take you on. Try it..it works.
To your point, one of the worst mental health habits I have is jumping around between too many thoughts in my brain.
I will think of something that is a concern then before I have fully finished that thought I'm on to the next one. No resolution.
I will think of something that is a concern then before I have fully finished that thought I'm on to the next one. No resolution.
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Yeah, know where you are coming from. Do you think consciously trying to conclude thoughts, or even stepping back and putting these unresolved thoughts into a block or story will help, so you are not ruminating on too many insummoutable thoughts?Hugo wrote: Wed Aug 09, 2023 6:36 pm To your point, one of the worst mental health habits I have is jumping around between too many thoughts in my brain.
I will think of something that is a concern then before I have fully finished that thought I'm on to the next one. No resolution.
I really and getting quite good at dismissing thoughts now.
I had CBT for anxiety. It was a pretty useful tool.
But I really struggled once and couldn’t lift myself.
It was during an audit. I was trying to second guess what they might look at next. So I’d have a thought, worry about it. I thought that by trying to best prepare for each challenge, my mind would then relax. But no, it would just find another thing, and it just kept repeating. It was a very drawn out audit over months, so I was in a perpetual state of worry. Then thinking about worst case scenarios. Ie Fail the audit, ruin the companies credit rating, ….
So I didn’t find excessively preparing actually helped me as much as I hoped it would.
It was dreadful, worst in the mornings. Being attacked by cortisol. The best remedy was breathing exercises. Forgetting about the future for just a brief period, and outcomes I could not control, but to come back to the now. Mindfulness.
But I really struggled once and couldn’t lift myself.
It was during an audit. I was trying to second guess what they might look at next. So I’d have a thought, worry about it. I thought that by trying to best prepare for each challenge, my mind would then relax. But no, it would just find another thing, and it just kept repeating. It was a very drawn out audit over months, so I was in a perpetual state of worry. Then thinking about worst case scenarios. Ie Fail the audit, ruin the companies credit rating, ….
So I didn’t find excessively preparing actually helped me as much as I hoped it would.
It was dreadful, worst in the mornings. Being attacked by cortisol. The best remedy was breathing exercises. Forgetting about the future for just a brief period, and outcomes I could not control, but to come back to the now. Mindfulness.
Yup. Small s Stoicism is the way forward for many.Hugo wrote: Wed Aug 09, 2023 6:44 pm A few years back someone on here mentioned studying the stoic school of thought. I think there's something to that.
Don't be reactive be proactive and control only what you can. Let go of all the other shit.
One of many things I pick up from Aurelius is
“Begin each day by telling yourself: Today I shall be meeting with interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill-will, and selfishness – all of them due to the offenders’ ignorance of what is good or evil.”
It’s like he foresaw Plant Rugby!
My dinghy/immigration thread has gone a bit like that.Random1 wrote: Wed Aug 09, 2023 8:14 pmYup. Small s Stoicism is the way forward for many.Hugo wrote: Wed Aug 09, 2023 6:44 pm A few years back someone on here mentioned studying the stoic school of thought. I think there's something to that.
Don't be reactive be proactive and control only what you can. Let go of all the other shit.
One of many things I pick up from Aurelius is
“Begin each day by telling yourself: Today I shall be meeting with interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill-will, and selfishness – all of them due to the offenders’ ignorance of what is good or evil.”
It’s like he foresaw Plant Rugby!
I haven't had any therapy but I did work with some guys who used NLP to help improve individual and team performance at work. I have used some of the techniques when in the gym, playing golf, etc. Instead of focusing on issues and barriers that prevent me doing what I need to do I try and focus on success and what that will look like and mean to me. Simple golf example - my mate golfing who is similar standard as me hates bunkers and cant get out of them so when having to hit a shot over the bunker he is full of dread and worries about going in it and as a result he usually doesn't commit to the shot and goes in them. He has this image in his head of being stuck in a bunker and it usually comes true! I try and focus on and visualise where I am going to land my shot on the green and even making the putt that comes next and visualise this so that I then commit to the shot and majority of times I usually make them.
Being positive, focusing on improvement and what that meant for the future and using realistic but stretching goals really helped me recover from a bad knee injury/illness. I spent hours, days and weeks in the gym in rehab and it could have been a struggle, sometimes it was, but achieving my targets and getting better kept me going and I got there. I also found that telling others what you were aiming to achieve really helped. I started in the gym on crutches and folk asked what had happened so I told them about my injury/illness and what I was planning to achieve and after that everyone was very supportive and would come and talk and encourage me to do better. Their support really helped - problem shared really is important..
Being positive, focusing on improvement and what that meant for the future and using realistic but stretching goals really helped me recover from a bad knee injury/illness. I spent hours, days and weeks in the gym in rehab and it could have been a struggle, sometimes it was, but achieving my targets and getting better kept me going and I got there. I also found that telling others what you were aiming to achieve really helped. I started in the gym on crutches and folk asked what had happened so I told them about my injury/illness and what I was planning to achieve and after that everyone was very supportive and would come and talk and encourage me to do better. Their support really helped - problem shared really is important..
Random1 wrote: Wed Aug 09, 2023 8:14 pmYup. Small s Stoicism is the way forward for many.Hugo wrote: Wed Aug 09, 2023 6:44 pm A few years back someone on here mentioned studying the stoic school of thought. I think there's something to that.
Don't be reactive be proactive and control only what you can. Let go of all the other shit.
One of many things I pick up from Aurelius is
“Begin each day by telling yourself: Today I shall be meeting with interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill-will, and selfishness – all of them due to the offenders’ ignorance of what is good or evil.”
It’s like he foresaw Plant Rugby!
I think ol' Marcus could have done with a bit more humility to be honest, maybe asking if his own intransigence was contributing to the opposition he encountered.
Wife and kids were out and I was cutting the grass. Finished it, sat down, and lost feeling in left side of face, lips numb, eye dropped, etc, etc. Hell I am having a stroke. Stupidly drove to A&E. A day of test and it was Bells Palsy.
However the mental side effect of that day is, every twinge in my body I am having a stroke. Every pain in my chest, heart attack. Every bit of blurred vision, going blind. The list goes on and on.
Panic attacks and anxiety abound.
Many sessions of CBT helped. Trying to get my head straight is hard. My wife has no sympathy whatsoever - you are not having a stroke, etc response, just get on with it. - not sure this helps tbh. Mood swings are frequent. No thoughts of topping myself, just constant thoughts of I will die.
This has gone one for 7 years now. A lot better now, but the Black Dog does come every so often. Keeping busy helps.
However the mental side effect of that day is, every twinge in my body I am having a stroke. Every pain in my chest, heart attack. Every bit of blurred vision, going blind. The list goes on and on.
Panic attacks and anxiety abound.
Many sessions of CBT helped. Trying to get my head straight is hard. My wife has no sympathy whatsoever - you are not having a stroke, etc response, just get on with it. - not sure this helps tbh. Mood swings are frequent. No thoughts of topping myself, just constant thoughts of I will die.
This has gone one for 7 years now. A lot better now, but the Black Dog does come every so often. Keeping busy helps.
Romans said ....Illegitimi non carborundum --- Today we say .. WTF
Sounds rough, mate. Good luck.vball wrote: Thu Aug 10, 2023 8:07 am Wife and kids were out and I was cutting the grass. Finished it, sat down, and lost feeling in left side of face, lips numb, eye dropped, etc, etc. Hell I am having a stroke. Stupidly drove to A&E. A day of test and it was Bells Palsy.
However the mental side effect of that day is, every twinge in my body I am having a stroke. Every pain in my chest, heart attack. Every bit of blurred vision, going blind. The list goes on and on.
Panic attacks and anxiety abound.
Many sessions of CBT helped. Trying to get my head straight is hard. My wife has no sympathy whatsoever - you are not having a stroke, etc response, just get on with it. - not sure this helps tbh. Mood swings are frequent. No thoughts of topping myself, just constant thoughts of I will die.
This has gone one for 7 years now. A lot better now, but the Black Dog does come every so often. Keeping busy helps.
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Yep, I had that after a heart attack. Thought i was having anotyer one constantly..With me, because I am in chronic pain, the pain is like a minute to minute reminder of the accident, that I then relive. Can't escape it. When you are in trauma, your brain doesn't process stuff correctly. So you relive it lots. Dreams, flashbacks, etcvball wrote: Thu Aug 10, 2023 8:07 am Wife and kids were out and I was cutting the grass. Finished it, sat down, and lost feeling in left side of face, lips numb, eye dropped, etc, etc. Hell I am having a stroke. Stupidly drove to A&E. A day of test and it was Bells Palsy.
However the mental side effect of that day is, every twinge in my body I am having a stroke. Every pain in my chest, heart attack. Every bit of blurred vision, going blind. The list goes on and on.
Panic attacks and anxiety abound.
Many sessions of CBT helped. Trying to get my head straight is hard. My wife has no sympathy whatsoever - you are not having a stroke, etc response, just get on with it. - not sure this helps tbh. Mood swings are frequent. No thoughts of topping myself, just constant thoughts of I will die.
This has gone one for 7 years now. A lot better now, but the Black Dog does come every so often. Keeping busy helps.
It is a fucker. But i am one of these blokes who if he knows or understands things, he can deal with it better.
Find if I catch myself beginning to hit a negative spiral of thoughts, I use the old pencil in the mouth trick. As ridiculous as it is, faking a smile still stimulates happy hormones, and the ridiculousness of having a pencil like that in your mouth just increases it, it helps me break out more easily. I figure if my brain is being treacherous leading me into them, I'm going to fight fire with fire and trick it straight back.
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
The problem is my brain goes 100 miles an hour most of the time and I can barely finish one thought before I go onto the next when I get anxious. I've got to figure how to discipline my brain to slow down.Line6 HXFX wrote: Wed Aug 09, 2023 6:51 pmYeah, know where you are coming from. Do you think consciously trying to conclude thoughts, or even stepping back and putting these unresolved thoughts into a block or story will help, so you are not ruminating on too many insummoutable thoughts?Hugo wrote: Wed Aug 09, 2023 6:36 pm To your point, one of the worst mental health habits I have is jumping around between too many thoughts in my brain.
I will think of something that is a concern then before I have fully finished that thought I'm on to the next one. No resolution.
I really and getting quite good at dismissing thoughts now.
How did you manage it?
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Have you tried CBD oil?
It saved me a couple of years ago and I still use is occasionally now when I need to stop the freight train.
It saved me a couple of years ago and I still use is occasionally now when I need to stop the freight train.
“Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.”
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So think of something that stresses you out, causes you a "bit" of anxiety when you think about it.Hugo wrote: Fri Aug 11, 2023 6:18 pmThe problem is my brain goes 100 miles an hour most of the time and I can barely finish one thought before I go onto the next when I get anxious. I've got to figure how to discipline my brain to slow down.Line6 HXFX wrote: Wed Aug 09, 2023 6:51 pmYeah, know where you are coming from. Do you think consciously trying to conclude thoughts, or even stepping back and putting these unresolved thoughts into a block or story will help, so you are not ruminating on too many insummoutable thoughts?Hugo wrote: Wed Aug 09, 2023 6:36 pm To your point, one of the worst mental health habits I have is jumping around between too many thoughts in my brain.
I will think of something that is a concern then before I have fully finished that thought I'm on to the next one. No resolution.
I really and getting quite good at dismissing thoughts now.
How did you manage it?
Nothing terrible, start small.
Now step back a bit and try to see that stressor as a block of anxiety. A story. A route your brain will go down if you let it.
Now just don't. Say to yourself, yup I am not doing that.. put the book back on the shelf.
It is easier than it looks...looking at the anxiety path as a chunk and not going there.
If you have been anxious for a long time, your brain craves anxiety. So it won't like it at first.
Mine tripped out a bit.
My Mrs when I get anxious now, says "story" at me. Makes me laugh.
My therapist is an evangelist of this technique. I will get the name of the guy who created it at my next session, so you can do your own research/youtubing....I am not a therapist, just trying to explain this technique the best way I can.
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Seneccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccca.Hugo wrote: Wed Aug 09, 2023 6:44 pm A few years back someone on here mentioned studying the stoic school of thought. I think there's something to that.
Don't be reactive be proactive and control only what you can. Let go of all the other shit.
Jake banned him too. Not sure he's even still alive.
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Thought he was Convoluted?Torquemada 1420 wrote: Fri Aug 11, 2023 7:31 pmSeneccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccca.Hugo wrote: Wed Aug 09, 2023 6:44 pm A few years back someone on here mentioned studying the stoic school of thought. I think there's something to that.
Don't be reactive be proactive and control only what you can. Let go of all the other shit.
Jake banned him too. Not sure he's even still alive.
Convoluted is too dumb to be Sneaker.Uncle fester wrote: Sat Aug 12, 2023 10:03 amThought he was Convoluted?Torquemada 1420 wrote: Fri Aug 11, 2023 7:31 pmSeneccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccca.Hugo wrote: Wed Aug 09, 2023 6:44 pm A few years back someone on here mentioned studying the stoic school of thought. I think there's something to that.
Don't be reactive be proactive and control only what you can. Let go of all the other shit.
Jake banned him too. Not sure he's even still alive.
A friend of mine spent an evening getting drunk with a therapist friend, it acted like a kind of free therapy session for them because they had recently broken up with their long term partner.
It was quite interesting having a chat about it a few weeks after, their biggest take away was this - Your mental health is your own responsibility.
There is a danger of this sounding quite cold. Sure, work with your nearest and dearest, let them know how you're feeling and things that help/things that trigger.
But the real success in supporting your mental health is going to be about things you do/don't do rather than others. Also, you're in more control of what you do/don't do. Relying on others to change their behavior is risky and can lead to disappointment, a bit of a spiral almost.
Been very interesting reading this thread and seeing all the different approaches people are taking themselves to try and help things.
It was quite interesting having a chat about it a few weeks after, their biggest take away was this - Your mental health is your own responsibility.
There is a danger of this sounding quite cold. Sure, work with your nearest and dearest, let them know how you're feeling and things that help/things that trigger.
But the real success in supporting your mental health is going to be about things you do/don't do rather than others. Also, you're in more control of what you do/don't do. Relying on others to change their behavior is risky and can lead to disappointment, a bit of a spiral almost.
Been very interesting reading this thread and seeing all the different approaches people are taking themselves to try and help things.
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Insane_Homer wrote: Fri Aug 11, 2023 6:22 pm Have you tried CBD oil?
It saved me a couple of years ago and I still use is occasionally now when I need to stop the freight train.
My adopted son suffers from severe ADHD.
Having been on ADHD meds myself, I'm not a big fan of Stratera or Concerta, and definitely not Ritalin.
Our ahem..."sweetie shop", where we buy our THC edibles and prescribed weed, suggested we give him CBD edibles.
It literally changed him overnight. 20mg per day - 2 gummies. It's about 20% the price of CBD oils you buy at high end pharmacy shops.
You could see the difference in his handwriting. The one day you couldn't read his writing, the next day it looked like a girl's handwriting. He struggles wit maths: his marks improved by 20% after starting taking CBD.
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Absolutely that... I've known a lot of people over the years who have or are struggling. I've been down that road myself. The most important element seems to be reaching that breakthrough understanding about taking responsibility. There's a process to that of course, that involves getting help... finding a way through the maze. It comes down though, to taking charge for yourself.C T wrote: Sat Aug 12, 2023 12:40 pm A friend of mine spent an evening getting drunk with a therapist friend, it acted like a kind of free therapy session for them because they had recently broken up with their long term partner.
It was quite interesting having a chat about it a few weeks after, their biggest take away was this - Your mental health is your own responsibility.
There is a danger of this sounding quite cold. Sure, work with your nearest and dearest, let them know how you're feeling and things that help/things that trigger.
But the real success in supporting your mental health is going to be about things you do/don't do rather than others. Also, you're in more control of what you do/don't do. Relying on others to change their behavior is risky and can lead to disappointment, a bit of a spiral almost.
Been very interesting reading this thread and seeing all the different approaches people are taking themselves to try and help things.
Thanks, I will see about getting that.Insane_Homer wrote: Fri Aug 11, 2023 6:22 pm Have you tried CBD oil?
It saved me a couple of years ago and I still use is occasionally now when I need to stop the freight train.
Since becoming a parent I have more or less completely abstained from booze and any form of recreational drugs (I'm pretty much teetotal & don't smoke) but I've recently arrived at the conclusion that it is possible to be too sober. In my efforts to be a responsible parent I have deprived myself of the ability to take the edge off my mind.
Is that true, that when you are anxious your brain craves more anxiety? You know why that is?Line6 HXFX wrote: Fri Aug 11, 2023 6:31 pm So think of something that stresses you out, causes you a "bit" of anxiety when you think about it.
Nothing terrible, start small.
Now step back a bit and try to see that stressor as a block of anxiety. A story. A route your brain will go down if you let it.
Now just don't. Say to yourself, yup I am not doing that.. put the book back on the shelf.
It is easier than it looks...looking at the anxiety path as a chunk and not going there.
If you have been anxious for a long time, your brain craves anxiety. So it won't like it at first.
Mine tripped out a bit.
My Mrs when I get anxious now, says "story" at me. Makes me laugh.
My therapist is an evangelist of this technique. I will get the name of the guy who created it at my next session, so you can do your own research/youtubing....I am not a therapist, just trying to explain this technique the best way I can.
I appreciate you getting the name of the therapist, I really need to have a better understanding of how the brain works. My own self talk/internal dialogue seems to always stray toward the negative/pessimistic side of things by default and I need to see if there is a way to rectify that. Negative things always seem readily apparent in my mind and I tend to always prepare for the worst or for disappointment. I think I have thinking patterns that don't serve me well at all. Any more info you can provide would be greatly appreciated.
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Thats basically the technique.. Yup your brain is moulded by familiarity. If its anxious a lot of the time, and that anxiety stops it will look for things to get anxious about.
My mother for example another( lifelong worrier) was a bugger for it. There would be nothing to worry about, and she would go looking for things.
My mother for example another( lifelong worrier) was a bugger for it. There would be nothing to worry about, and she would go looking for things.
Hugo wrote: Mon Aug 14, 2023 6:45 amIs that true, that when you are anxious your brain craves more anxiety? You know why that is?Line6 HXFX wrote: Fri Aug 11, 2023 6:31 pm So think of something that stresses you out, causes you a "bit" of anxiety when you think about it.
Nothing terrible, start small.
Now step back a bit and try to see that stressor as a block of anxiety. A story. A route your brain will go down if you let it.
Now just don't. Say to yourself, yup I am not doing that.. put the book back on the shelf.
It is easier than it looks...looking at the anxiety path as a chunk and not going there.
If you have been anxious for a long time, your brain craves anxiety. So it won't like it at first.
Mine tripped out a bit.
My Mrs when I get anxious now, says "story" at me. Makes me laugh.
My therapist is an evangelist of this technique. I will get the name of the guy who created it at my next session, so you can do your own research/youtubing....I am not a therapist, just trying to explain this technique the best way I can.
I appreciate you getting the name of the therapist, I really need to have a better understanding of how the brain works. My own self talk/internal dialogue seems to always stray toward the negative/pessimistic side of things by default and I need to see if there is a way to rectify that. Negative things always seem readily apparent in my mind and I tend to always prepare for the worst or for disappointment. I think I have thinking patterns that don't serve me well at all. Any more info you can provide would be greatly appreciated.
I think it's very common to stray into negative thoughts and beat ourselves up unnecessarily, we know that the vast majority of people are very hard on themselves, we know that we all make mistakes and say or do the wrong thing from time to time. Sometimes these things are awful, sometimes they are really little, but they still niggle away anyway.
I feel it's important to recognise that none of us is faultless, the shorthand I developed is to say the word "Nobody" to myself when I catch myself drifting into negativity. That is a trigger for me for a lot of thinking and reading I did and coming to terms with making mistakes and trying not to replay them over and over in my head - the Nobody is from nobody is perfect and I adopted that because it was the nickname for John Eales.
It's okay to be wrong, it's okay to do the wrong thing, as long as we acknowledge it, make our apologies and learn we can move on and try to let things go.
I found that having that trigger word really helped me, I use Nobody and John Eales interchangably.
- mat the expat
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I've been a follower of Stoicism since I first read about it as a teen.Hugo wrote: Wed Aug 09, 2023 6:44 pm A few years back someone on here mentioned studying the stoic school of thought. I think there's something to that.
Being from a poor background, it's kind of default philosophy anyway, but helps as an adult
Tichtheid wrote: Mon Aug 14, 2023 9:14 amHugo wrote: Mon Aug 14, 2023 6:45 amIs that true, that when you are anxious your brain craves more anxiety? You know why that is?Line6 HXFX wrote: Fri Aug 11, 2023 6:31 pm So think of something that stresses you out, causes you a "bit" of anxiety when you think about it.
Nothing terrible, start small.
Now step back a bit and try to see that stressor as a block of anxiety. A story. A route your brain will go down if you let it.
Now just don't. Say to yourself, yup I am not doing that.. put the book back on the shelf.
It is easier than it looks...looking at the anxiety path as a chunk and not going there.
If you have been anxious for a long time, your brain craves anxiety. So it won't like it at first.
Mine tripped out a bit.
My Mrs when I get anxious now, says "story" at me. Makes me laugh.
My therapist is an evangelist of this technique. I will get the name of the guy who created it at my next session, so you can do your own research/youtubing....I am not a therapist, just trying to explain this technique the best way I can.
I appreciate you getting the name of the therapist, I really need to have a better understanding of how the brain works. My own self talk/internal dialogue seems to always stray toward the negative/pessimistic side of things by default and I need to see if there is a way to rectify that. Negative things always seem readily apparent in my mind and I tend to always prepare for the worst or for disappointment. I think I have thinking patterns that don't serve me well at all. Any more info you can provide would be greatly appreciated.
I think it's very common to stray into negative thoughts and beat ourselves up unnecessarily, we know that the vast majority of people are very hard on themselves, we know that we all make mistakes and say or do the wrong thing from time to time. Sometimes these things are awful, sometimes they are really little, but they still niggle away anyway.
I feel it's important to recognise that none of us is faultless, the shorthand I developed is to say the word "Nobody" to myself when I catch myself drifting into negativity. That is a trigger for me for a lot of thinking and reading I did and coming to terms with making mistakes and trying not to replay them over and over in my head - the Nobody is from nobody is perfect and I adopted that because it was the nickname for John Eales.
It's okay to be wrong, it's okay to do the wrong thing, as long as we acknowledge it, make our apologies and learn we can move on and try to let things go.
I found that having that trigger word really helped me, I use Nobody and John Eales interchangably.
Interesting pov. You think people from poor backgrounds are more more stoic? Not disagreeing but I'm curious to hear more if you don't mind.mat the expat wrote: Tue Aug 15, 2023 4:10 amI've been a follower of Stoicism since I first read about it as a teen.Hugo wrote: Wed Aug 09, 2023 6:44 pm A few years back someone on here mentioned studying the stoic school of thought. I think there's something to that.
Being from a poor background, it's kind of default philosophy anyway, but helps as an adult
I would definitely think people from disadvantaged backgrounds have a more pessimistic and cynical outlook but would you say they are stoic?
Makes sense. People are definitely more comfortable with what they are familiar with.Line6 HXFX wrote: Mon Aug 14, 2023 8:24 am Thats basically the technique.. Yup your brain is moulded by familiarity. If its anxious a lot of the time, and that anxiety stops it will look for things to get anxious about.
Thanks for starting this thread btw. It has potential to help a lo6 of people. I think these are very uncertain times and people (certainly myself) are looking for ways to cope.
Also, one of the things I've been trying to get to the bottom of over the past three years is the nature of people arguing with one another over trivial matters. To really drill down and think about what is at play on this.
I'm trying to figure out why people consider proving themselves right over someone else is of such importance.
Ego? Perhaps. Is it about establishing dominance? Do people need to win arguments to validate themselves?
I'm trying to figure out why people consider proving themselves right over someone else is of such importance.
Ego? Perhaps. Is it about establishing dominance? Do people need to win arguments to validate themselves?
- mat the expat
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Pessimism and Cynicism are just facets of Stoicism really.Hugo wrote: Tue Aug 15, 2023 6:13 amInteresting pov. You think people from poor backgrounds are more more stoic? Not disagreeing but I'm curious to hear more if you don't mind.mat the expat wrote: Tue Aug 15, 2023 4:10 amI've been a follower of Stoicism since I first read about it as a teen.Hugo wrote: Wed Aug 09, 2023 6:44 pm A few years back someone on here mentioned studying the stoic school of thought. I think there's something to that.
Being from a poor background, it's kind of default philosophy anyway, but helps as an adult
I would definitely think people from disadvantaged backgrounds have a more pessimistic and cynical outlook but would you say they are stoic?
Besides, when you're poor, it's much harder to get access to therapists, etc and you seldom have the support networks that well-off people have
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Hugo wrote: Tue Aug 15, 2023 6:41 am Also, one of the things I've been trying to get to the bottom of over the past three years is the nature of people arguing with one another over trivial matters. To really drill down and think about what is at play on this.
I'm trying to figure out why people consider proving themselves right over someone else is of such importance.
Ego? Perhaps. Is it about establishing dominance? Do people need to win arguments to validate themselves?
If you study what narcissism is(the name of the condition is a cliche these days, I know) but that condition is fascinating. The amount of damage these cunts can do to your psyche, just to get supply is spectacular. Vampires of your soul. You would also never go on a public forum again, incase you meet them (which you will). But watching two or three of them go head to head is fascinating.
Anyway specialists in this area reckon narcissism is the key to understanding mental health. Not saying Most people who are depressed, and anxious keep a narcassist around..but...
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- Joined: Sat Jul 04, 2020 9:31 am
OK got the authors, though haven't done my own research yet, so cannot point you to a specific chapter. The techniques are inHugo wrote: Mon Aug 14, 2023 6:45 amIs that true, that when you are anxious your brain craves more anxiety? You know why that is?Line6 HXFX wrote: Fri Aug 11, 2023 6:31 pm So think of something that stresses you out, causes you a "bit" of anxiety when you think about it.
Nothing terrible, start small.
Now step back a bit and try to see that stressor as a block of anxiety. A story. A route your brain will go down if you let it.
Now just don't. Say to yourself, yup I am not doing that.. put the book back on the shelf.
It is easier than it looks...looking at the anxiety path as a chunk and not going there.
If you have been anxious for a long time, your brain craves anxiety. So it won't like it at first.
Mine tripped out a bit.
My Mrs when I get anxious now, says "story" at me. Makes me laugh.
My therapist is an evangelist of this technique. I will get the name of the guy who created it at my next session, so you can do your own research/youtubing....I am not a therapist, just trying to explain this technique the best way I can.
I appreciate you getting the name of the therapist, I really need to have a better understanding of how the brain works. My own self talk/internal dialogue seems to always stray toward the negative/pessimistic side of things by default and I need to see if there is a way to rectify that. Negative things always seem readily apparent in my mind and I tend to always prepare for the worst or for disappointment. I think I have thinking patterns that don't serve me well at all. Any more info you can provide would be greatly appreciated.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy books
The Happiness Trap by Dr Russ Harris
Overcome Anxiety by Matt Lewis.
They are both available online and Russ Harris does lots of videos on Youtube, as I said haven't read them or seen them yet, just learned techniques through therapy... but this is the shit apparently..(it works for me anyway).